Keep reading. By now Baca's voice should be easier as he continues to share his story, his observations and insights. Let me know what you think. If this voice influencing your creative project? We only have one more section of Baca's book till the final is due. Catch up as soon as you can.
And happy Independence Day!
Healing Earthquakes, Part One - Response
ReplyDeleteFirst, I’d like to say that I read this book of poems from start to finish—I could not put it down. Baca’s translation of moments, feelings, and the dynamics of life were so potent that the poems intoxicated me. I felt myself hurting with him, longing with him, loving with him, hating with him, and most importantly, healing with him. In #15 from Part One Baca writes, “…he comes in late wearing his sag and bags, sometimes high, stoned on sweet bud, he feels his brother’s eyes scolding him from his serious Marine face but that salute pisses him off because his brother died in a war run by political crooks who never gave a damn about Chicanos or Chicanas.” (Pg. 41) To me, this passage exemplifies the conflicting, confusing, incomprehensible collision of forces within experiential reality that produce altering states of emotionality. In this way, I thought that writing or making could be considered a process of documenting facets of experience and interpreting the mess of it all—terrible and beautiful. Baca’s capturing of life in this way was extraordinary, I thought. I also appreciated the conveyance of his Chicano identity using the elegance and splendor of his poetry, as it seemed to defiantly and compassionately reinstate the value of a culture that has been savagely abused and dismissed in the U.S.
Healing Earthquakes, Book Two - Response
ReplyDeleteThis portion of the book was intensely effectual to me; Baca’s words incited some painful memories but also some warm, nostalgic ones. These memory-feelings were excavated by his relatable writing, which functioned in such a way that it brought forth remembrances for me in a kind of direct summoning. This is to say that in reading Baca’s telling of his entrance into love, his navigation of it, and its fading, it hit home for me in a universal way that was also somehow incredibly personal. I think this has to do with his weaving of emotion experience and highly specific, references to objects, culture, landscape, etc.
While reading this passage, knowing increasingly that their love would wan, I also kept wondering if Lisana remains in his heart as unique from other lovers. It is a question that I ponder often; in this “globally-connected” age of seemingly infinite prospective mates, how does one forge a true connection with another individual. I recognize that this is also due to my particular experiences in life, but I worry that we are losing the ability to perceive each other fully, wholly. I am not a conventional person in many ways, but I do believe in building a life with others (friends or lovers) in which commitments are established, love grows over time, and the individuals honor one another. In reading Baca’s celebration of Lisana, it rejuvenated my hope that people will live generously and appreciatively.
Healing Earthquakes, Book Three - Response
ReplyDeleteThis part was definitely tough to get through; it was painful to absorb Baca’s pain and painful to relearn my own pain. Still, I found his conveying of this part of his journey to provoke an almost spiritual experience in a cathartic sense. Last semester in Dr. Check’s class I made an artist’s book that talked about the expectation to repress one’s emotions in certain parts of American culture. For example, I have noticed that there is an unspoken social contract that forbids others from speaking truthfully when they are asked how they are doing by others. The question is reduced to a mere formality that, when not treated as rhetorical, renders the answerer weird, unstable, or awkward. With this in mind, I savored Baca’s direct, unashamed expressions even through my wincing. To me, this part was a declaration of his humanness, and a refusal to stop feeling or expressing his reality.
One thing I’d also like to note is that I noticed there is a lot of references to escapism throughout the entire book. In considering that escapist tactics are typically utilized to avoid feelings, I wondered how much Baca wrote during his ordeals and how much was written upon reflection (after some time had passed). I know there is no real answer to that anyway, as one cannot temporally quantify or delineate experiences, but I just kept wondering how proximate his experiences were to his recording of them through poetry.
Good point, that these experiences are written retrospectively.
DeleteHealing Earthquakes, Book Four - Response
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this part of Baca’s story, his return to origin—a reexamination of his individuality gradually surfacing after his immense suffering. Although trauma is explored in this section, it is a defiant kind of exploration that is less excruciating than the last, one in which societal influences are deconstructed and previous self-condemnations are reversed. I could relate to this section in that through my aging I have formed my own truths and meanings, beginning the process of self-love/acceptance. Baca describes his relationship with his body, wherein a socially imposed morality made him hate it, yet at the same time pleasure derived from his own self-discovery prevailed.
I’m struggling slightly to come up with words to describe why this part, although difficult at times to read, seemed so much healthier than the last—perhaps it was that his acknowledgement of social dynamics that influenced him (also events in his life) and the resulting personal experiences. He writes, “But there’s a sickness in me, a real bad case of not knowing how to love - or surrender myself to another person - to give myself up trustingly - I can’t. I thrust forward, then retreat and the grief is mine- I recoil from the kindness - I place boundaries between you and me - living to get by gets in the way…” (Pg. 239) To me, this felt less like the expression of raw emotion and more like a reflexive practice that went towards healing through nonjudgmental acknowledgement, towards self-validation and generosity.
I too see that he healing in book four, where in book three, he is stuck, left to his own devices.
DeleteI too read the book straight though the first time...could not believe what I was reading and how beauty and pain were interwoven.
ReplyDeleteThis is why he is an awarding winning poet.
Healing Earthquakes Part 2
ReplyDeleteAfter reading Part 2, I am now realizing that this is a love story. Of course, I now feel silly not noticing this written on the front cover. He began the book, talking about his upbringing in a small Chicano town. Thinking back on part 1, that was the beginning of the love story. The love of his home town,however rough it may have been, his mother, brother, family, friends. And then we move to part 2, we see a different view of love, really just a natural progression from boy to man. He mentions the lovers that he took on I think partially to add to the narrative, but also to contrast the lack of love in those relationships with the love that he would soon know with Lisana.
Very good observation - the love story did begin with his love for his home town/youth.
DeleteKeep reading...love has its own journey.
ReplyDeleteMeditation of Fire
ReplyDeleteWell, my book finally came in. Just in time before the class was over. And I'm glad it did because as far as just an enjoyable read, this was my favorite of the class. Short and sweet account of a man's journey and filled with amazing artwork. My kind of read.
James seems to be a guy who is always at peace. Nothing riles him up too much. Sees the good in the situation. He talks about his "privilege of two lifestyles," but farm work is not easy. I have a number of family members who are currently farmers outside of Lubbock. Their fathers were farmers and their fathers were farmers. That life is not easy. And then you add in actually finishing high school and getting a college degree. The work alone is a lot, but Watkins briefly touches on the commitment to family. As the child of a farmer, you know what it takes to run a farm and there is a certain burden you bear when you are not there to help. James must have had incredible parents to convince him and allow to pursue the education.
I like what Watkins said about his work being a regurgitation of principles learned from influential professors. He recognized this in his own work and it became a turning point in which he would break off and develop his own style. I have this conversation every year with my students, It doesn't matter what level, it seems to come up in class: "But his is art class. Why can't I just do what I want?" After which iI tell them "You can. Once you show me you understand what I am trying to teach you." I really believe this is an important part of learning art. Not necessarily being able to regurgitate art history, but really just understand why they are making the choices they are in their work. If they are already showing they have a voice in their art I don't make them hide it, but most students don't really know who they are yet. I develop lessons that help them show their identity and give them choice, but even then they are showing to me they understand the concept we are working on. It is not until they get to my advanced classes that I really push them to self discovery. Even then I still find that most are not ready. Very few, in high school, are as James says "secure" in their craft.
Ps. I swear on page 42, in the picture from Juction, the lady in yellow on the far left is my high school art teacher. Future, if you could confirm that is Suzie Harrison, I would get a good laugh.
I will ask him. Junction was the home to hundreds of art teachers across Texas and James was a huge part of that!
ReplyDeleteThe beginning of Book Four touches on the Virgen/Whore dichotomy, or the Three Mary’s, Virgin/Mother/Whore. Women are either supposed to be chaste or matronly, nothing in between. Baca offers a rather oedipal perspective on his mother, but also makes mother’s human. Sandra Cisneros speaks of the role model of the La Virgen, not having a sex under her robe. She also discusses how women’s sex parts are the "unmentionable", writing that even she did not know the workings of her own body. So Baca allows us the male perspective on this topic.
ReplyDeleteA lot of what I hear throughout is his battle with Chicano toxic masculinity, in the sense of being Chicano and having to process toxic masculinity, not that Chicano is the epitome of toxic masculinity because it is not. I am going to say that this is where I become critical with Baca. One thing I look at is whether the women in the book has a voice, has thoughts, has agency. Lisana, is made to be rejecting his faultless love shrouded lust who is whoring around on him, although he himself is highly insecure. I’m not defending her, but he allows himself no fault for the destruction of their relationship. Then it is unclear to me, but Lisana becomes masculine in Book Four…which I don’t understand what that means, while he becomes more in touch with what he perceives as feminine.
On 243, when he is trying to argue for men’s rights on abortion because they are done without the men’s say. Eh……what is he arguing here, that if women have the right to abortion, then men have the right to force the woman to carry? No.
The gender constructs are interesting, but it seems to me that he is wrestiling with toxic masculinity, his objectified fantasies of women particularly Lisana, and projecting everything onto her. There is a layer of misogyny underneath it all. The gender construct here is obviously phallocentric, and when he speaks of women he speaks of their sex, their pussies, and for the purpose of male pleasure and subservience not matter how self sacrificing and hopeless he portrays himself.
On 209, he discusses his "Chicano language changing to a nasal whine, some version of West Texas ballroom blonde talking", which reminds me of my dad’s generation. They were forced to shed their mother tongue, and when they spoke English they had to get it right. I always caught this slight intonation when they switched to pronunciating English proper, spoke with their chin down and eyes forward and a bit lower in voice. Almost like saying, sir yes sir. I saw it in my dad, and in many of the people in his generation.
When Baca speaks of the Great Mother, the First Mother, Tonantzin and spirit of Teotihuacan, this is the spirt and heart of Chicanismo, and it is also a resistance to assimilation. One important thing to remember in the context of New Mexican identity is that when NM was trying for statehood they had to get in good with anglos. New Mexicans shunned their indigeneity by claiming to be “Spanish” and distinctly not “Mexcian.” The word Mexican meant immigrant worker, of a lower working class, sort of like today what we consider the undocumented immigrant. They wanted to distance themselves from that so they claimed and celebrated their Europeaness. This is the problem with the term “Hispanic.” It’s context is its “Spanish” Europeness. To Chicanos and Chicanas, this meant loathing the native self. Chicanos and Chicanas reclaim their indigeneity. Baca is embracing his native self.
Ok, so Book 4 wore me raw a bit. I get his voice. I just am tired of hearing about how hard it is to be a man. Try being a woman.
I still like his poetry. I am just kinda tired of hearing about his dick. The eroticness has worn down, but this is who he is, and who he was taught he was supposed to be. I get it, but he's kind of a yelping desperate alley cat that you want to throw a shoe at, at this point.
I was raised by a mother from a working poor family in West Texas and a father from a family of poverty in East Texas. Their advise on womanhood was that a real woman was a Lady in the parlor, a Chef in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. This of course lead many lively discussions lead by my sister and myself on how do you become a whore if you are a virgin when you marry. I have known of very few individuals or groups that deal with or live with their sexuality without conflict and confusion.
ReplyDeleteFor me this chapter was refreshing. When I read the book I was surrounded by white professionals who spoke of equality but who in reality belived and behaved as Baca.His rawness (which I did not agree with) was at least honest and not hiding behind excuses. Not bathed in announcements about how they understood what women had gone through, what women had to face today.It would be one thing for a man to say 'carry this child, I will support you, I will take the child and raise it with love" but all I hear is "that is MY SEED" how dare you even think of not having MY child by yourself without me." So, the woman/whore/mother issue is never ending. I have heard it also called the Elvis Principle. That once his long time girlfriend/wife had a child he could no longer see her as a lover only as a mother.
As always, Corina, your comments are appreciated.
Reading book 4 gave me a better understanding of the previous books. The need to be loved is an important part of our growth as a human being and being deprived of that can generate a psychological damage to any human being; I believe Baca is no exception. He was raised with a tough mentality that lead to his attitude and low self-esteem, made him think that he was a useless human being and he felt no woman could ever love him " it all started way back when they said to me my body was no good just a hateful piece of trash to get rid of..." (p 208). So in my opinion this influenced the way he behaved and how he expressed himself towards woman.
ReplyDeleteI want to focus on the thing that got my attention the most, which "machismo". Most of book 4 deals with the macho culture, specially poem 6. Macho culture refers to the male pride that contributes to violence against women. Unfortunately machismo in Mexico was very common not long ago, it was a way of showing power and a huge cultural problem. It has being getting better but there's a high percentage of violence against woman, specially within the poorest. Baca grew up in a Chicano culture which is part of a Mexican culture, so he talks about prostitutes and how they are disposable but they are women who have feeling and should be respected no matter what. As a woman that's invidious and machismo makes me really upset. It also upsets me how women can let anyone treat them that way, but that's how they grew up and for them that is normal and that is part of life. I appreciate how in one of the last poem he mentioned that men should break the learning of hating themselves and hating women as well because they are both equal human beings and that is true, everybody deserves respect no matter what.
No woman is born saying " I hope I fall for a man or woman who belittle me, hurts me, makes be afraid". Abuse comes with excuses and apologies. Then shame. Bace works within prisons to try to help inmates learn to read and express their feelings without violence. His words allow the rest of us to sense the complexity and depth of the pain.
ReplyDelete