As our readings come to an end for this class it is my hope that you have experienced different forms of identity. That the words have influenced your final creative project. I know summer sessions are rushed, so I accept that your project might just be sketches or outlines. What is important to me is that you begin to present yourself without the filter of academe or the support of citations. For this one class you are encouraged to be as honest as the books you have read.
#15 in book 5 is what I share with all my seminar classes. It is one of my favorite passages in the entire book.
Healing Earthquakes, Book Five - Response
ReplyDeleteIt’s been about a week since I read Baca’s epic book of poems, so I’ve had some time to reflect before writing my thoughts on Book 5, Rebirth. This section begins with a hazy, from-hindsight revelation. Grief.com tells me there are five stages to grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I look these things up sometimes rather than consulting a friend or loved one for fear of burdening them with my emotional experiences. I recently read a book about big data and internet searches; turns out I’m not the only one who shares their inner most fears and anxieties with Google—not by a long shot. As I write this, I wonder how these tendencies speak to the state of human relationships in this chaotic, yet anticipative moment. I wonder how the lives of my students, who grew up interacting this way, will differ from my own.
For this reason, reading Baca’s book was healing for me because I kept having this feeling of resonance with another’s experiences in an authentic way. Being present in his grief and through his healing somehow made me feel less alone. I often read for this reason, but what was interesting about Baca’s book was that, as I’ve mentioned in another post, his story was highly specific yet relatable. In my own life, I frequently worry that if I were to make work about my personal experience it would be a selfish act; I have even been told in the past that I have a “sterile” aesthetic, which I believe is a byproduct of my attempt at self-erasure. At any rate, I realized while reading Baca’s book that even if one’s work is highly personal, it will always be relatable to someone because we are more alike than we are different. Certainly, acknowledging difference is important to validating others’ experiences, but I’ve realized that denying my own experience can be a form of self-invalidation.
For me, one of the highlights of Book 5 was poem #17, which opens with a seemingly banal encounter with a piece of wheat bread left for birds, but Baca contrasts this apparent ordinariness of this gesture with its underlying message of hope. A couple of years ago I was working on my MFA thesis, trying to find direction in my work so that it could do more than perform unhelpfully in the sequestered microcosm of the art world. I was haunted by the incredible disparity marked by shootings of unarmed people— including children, hate crimes, government oversights in providing basic necessities like clean water in a country of extreme wealth and extreme poverty. But I saw a few stories on the news about random acts of kindness, and started researching prosocial tendencies such as altruism. It turns out that we are all fundamentally good-natured; this is to say that the majority of human interaction is collaborative, affirmative, and kind. For example, people typically hold the door for one another, people typically will help someone up who’s fallen. It seems we are hard-wired to live collaboratively on a social level that encourages looking out for one another. The problem is that it is easy to overlook these kind gestures. In this way, Baca’s manner of writing spoke to me about coming out of a dark place, and reemerging into life with a clarity of vision, wherein one can perceive the goodness in even the smallest of acts.
One of the first books dealing with grief was by Kubler-Ross,who identified the stages with the warning they do not come in that order all the time.And there is no time limit on how long it takes to get through each stage.
DeleteIn the early women's movement ( 1970's) there was a saying "the personal is political " meaning the lives/well being of each women , whatever our personal story is, IS important and should be valued. This is the center of my art making. When I try to be universal I fail, when I simply share my story, I find my work speaks to others. For me, Baca was and remains a fresh voice of life...the good, the bad and the ugly. There are parts that I disagree with or find I can not relate to but it is an open window from which I am allow to look out and look within.
I agree with you about kindness. I end my day with 3 moments of beauty or kindness I have experienced in the day.
Yes, I'm definitely glad to have finally realized that universality does not exist, and that attempting to assert it as such denies the complexities of individuals' realities/experiences.
DeleteHealing Earthquakes - Book I
ReplyDeleteWhile advancing with the reading of this book I am amazed by how successful is Baca in suggesting visual images through his words. It is like an entire world gets shape and becomes alive in my mind; the scenes wind off quickly in front of my eyes, sometimes they are just glimpses, and sometimes they are more complex and help me to better organize the numerous details about Baca’s life. It seems to me that the book takes the form of a confession. I can easily imagine Baca sitting at a table and letting his thoughts flow freely and people (Grandpa, Cindy, Grandma etc.) coming and sitting at the other end of the table, listening, then leaving . The main purposes of his discourse in this first part seem to be the sketching of an identity, both as an individual and as an artist. He is the orphan born to an almost predestined life, who was told at an early age “You got to get down and work hard”, “You can’t be talking back. Whatever you do, watch out not to get in trouble, cause they’ll be looking for you, expecting you to get in trouble” (10). However, the meeting with “trouble” was unavoidable and violence often crossed his path. The episode with his Grandpa being humiliated for not speaking English was very sad and revolting, and I can understand how something like this can leave a deep impression on a young boy. Baca’s wounds from childhood were deep and made him fight “every inch of the way for dignity and meaning” (5); his poetry seems destined for the same purpose. His self-portrait as an artist shows him blessed with the love for words - “from birth my tongue has had a fire for communication with trees and dirt and water” (8), looking for poems in his immediate reality, and wanting to create a sincere art which is dedicated to the poor, working people. It’s like he wants his art to return to the people whose voice are difficult to be heard, to those behind the bars, those leaving in the barrios, to his grandparents etc. I also think he is aiming to use the words of his poetry in the same way a teacher would tailor his lessons for his students. One last observation about the first part - I loved the way he used natural elements to suggest beauty and purity in a rather bleak, depressive world, and these are the examples I liked the most: “the apricot tree in his soul was buried” (13), “veterano angels collecting light from corn kernels” (20), “the cherry tree’s pink blossoms were once tablecloths for our hearts” (22), “our heaven was made of apple peelings” (24), “the red plum tree next to the bus-stop bench of enduring resilience” (51), “sitting there at the table in a small village on summer afternoon, cleaning pinto beans, in every instance where I needed hope, love, help, this image of you keeps me strong, keeps me moving on” (62).
His words are beautiful and haunting. His images as you so beautifully said are filled with ordinary bits of nature suddenly presented in a new light. I can almost smell his words.
DeleteInteresting observation that this book of poems is a kind of flowing confession.
DeleteHealing Earthquakes - Book II
ReplyDelete“People like me are as real as the holes in a fugitive’s shoes in ice-cold water running from the dogs” (69) – it was difficult to choose just one line from the many I liked, but I finally chose this one, not because I resonate with it, but because it is a striking and at the same time very effective comparison. I was never able to display such a strong sense of reality, in my life there was always room for mystery, uncertainties, doubt, and grey zones. I don’t really believe in black and white when it comes to people and actions, and that’s why I found it fascinating when I detect in a person this strong sense of anchorage in reality. In this part I particularly liked the way Baca describes how his love for Lisana and their daughters changed him, making him less of a warrior, more gentle and open toward listening the hearts of the loved ones. It was fascinating to see how deep this change goes and how his relationship with words is influenced by love. It seemed to me that if the first part is dedicated to the people from the barrios, in the second part he is fully immersed in his love for Lisana; he perceives this love as the true meaning of his existence and he is preoccupied with the challenge of giving his daughters a balanced, useful education. In a very different note, I was somehow intrigued by the way Baca dissociates himself from the artistic medium in Santa Fe (118). Although I am a foreigner, I am aware of the strong connection between art and tourism attached to Santa Fe; however, I was keeping a friendlier image to what is going on there. I guess I was ignorant, and now I find myself disappointed.
Not ignorant, you just dont live there and have not experienced the wave of tourist who come in and spend more in a week more than you can make in a year. Who tip poorly or not at all. New comers living off trust funds who buy up water rights or properties just because is hip to do so. Who do not work nor give back to the community in any way. I call Santa Fe tragically hip and tell every one you have to spend $1000 to dress like a street person. I lived north of Santa Fe, outside of Taos and it was an awaking to see my fellow Texans come to my town and act like fools.
DeleteOn the other hand I have never experienced as much kindness and compassion from locals in my life. Everyday was filled with small gestures of goodness...maybe just the offer of an apple fresh off a tree or a hot cup of coffee from a pot on a stove. Baca is just saying once he received awards for his work people wanted to know him...not HIM, but him the artist.
Healing Earthquakes: Part 1:
ReplyDeleteHis poems are emotional, sensitive and captured trauma of identity and personal relationship. His poems express pain of helplessness. In poem ten, he talks about pain of losing brother and missing him a lot in the Christmas (p27). In other poem, humiliation just because don’t know the English, indicates the racism was prominent in the society. in my opinion, harsh words had more capacity to wound anyone’s heart than physical wound. (p,13) It seems people forget to do humanity. According to Indian Rasa Theory it falls under Karuna Rasa in which depict sympathy and pity.
Healing Earthquakes: Part 2:
ReplyDelete“I entrust my heart to you, Lisana, Do as you wish with it. You may squeeze it.
Like an orange, puckering your lips, Tonguing the last sweet bitter drops
On a hot day.” (p,75)
“As we left the restaurant, a small drizzle shook from the sky
and dazzled the silent night street. The rain wet your lips
Sloped like a rainbow With peaceful shimmers
As your arms enclosed me and you kissed me.” (p,79)
These two stanzas are best example of Shringara Rasa, where it appreciates tremendous beauty and beauty is the main source of love. In which love exist everywhere, in everything and every gesture. Each word lead to another hidden expression for love which developed silently. Enhancing features of women like long hair, jewel shaped eyes, and lotus lips are part of expresses love. Underneath link portrays how we explore poem through Rasa.
http://www.outlookindia.com/magazine/story/poems-of-pain-always-scored-over-songs-of-lust-in-classical-india/298281
It is fascinating how you are able to share your culture and relate it to this work, thus helping the work expand. Thank you.
DeleteHealing Earthquakes Book IV:
ReplyDeleteBaca was able to find his way toward healing by two ways, first was the sweat lodge, and second by the inspiration of his daughter with what she meant by "heart," which really impacted him. I really like the analogy of the bridge to express his two disconnected selves that lost touch with who he was striving to be. One end was his orphaned past, tormented life filled with addiction, violence and the other self that wants to escape that but has never come to terms with his life nor learned to love and live. The bridge was a place where he can distance himself, but it was also a place where he cannot sustain himself. He had to heal. Baca also talked about his stone heart because of so much hate, which he needed to whittle down to a pebble (269). The bridge was also a place where he clung to love as a dependency, (286) and when that love failed him, he recoiled and regressed into his other addictions. I really loved chapter 10, so much good advice on how to live your life for yourself, and to your fullest. I agree with conquering fears, and doing things you never did before no matter how terrifying. Also not fearing making mistakes, and learning to forgive yourself. And of course, most importantly, Baca needed to heal his pain from the loss of his brother, and fear of abandonment. I think his children give him purpose and perspective. I think all these books have taught me to reexamine my life, put things in perspective, learn to forgive, and to heal.
Oops, I meant Book V
DeleteI am glad the books have been meaningful for you. They have been a part of my life for years. It is always a joy, well sometimes not so joyful, to return to these friends allowing the words to guide me.
DeleteBook number 5 in my personal opinion was the one I enjoyed the most from Healing Earthquakes. I believe he sends a beautiful message that deals with going back to basics. He mentions living in a simple way and forgetting about the luxuries which I totally agree with because sometimes we lose track of what makes us better and we focus on things that we might think will make us happy but at the end it is just superficial. He also refers about never forgetting our past but we should always move on to our present and future and this kind of reminded me of Julia's philosophy of never forgetting our roots, to always be proud of where we come from and incorporate our past in our present.
ReplyDeleteOnce again he talks about the macho culture, which as I mentioned before it is something I'm familiar with and he mentioned how a crying boy is considered a weakness in the culture "how we fool ourselves thinking men don't cry" (p 306). He used the word "fool" and that is so true, I mean how is crying a weakness? Crying in my opinion is as natural as laughing, no one should be judge for crying.
I really admire his talent of creating a poem to every stage of his life. No matter if it was a good or bad stage he would always have the exact words to describe his feeling toward what was happening in that exact moment. He talks about setting aside whatever doesn't make you feel good or be a better person "live, quit, do not turn back". There was a part when he explained how him and earth blend into each other and in my personal opinion that was beautiful and full of richness. Towards the end of the book, the more I got into the book the more "mature" I felt the reading got and I was able to see how he changed, healed and enjoyed life as it is.